Monday, February 22, 2010

King David: On Self-inflicted Scandals and How to Emerge

אשרי האיש
Psalm 1, verse 1: Fortunate is the man who has not walked in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stood in the way of sinners, nor sat in the seat of the scornful.

What about the man who did not evade sin? What about the man who succumbed to his evil inclinations and caused a great scandal? Can he ever regain his metaphysical fortune? Can that individual find redemption despite his indiscretions? What measures can he take to retain a legacy he worked so long to establish? Is he lost forever?

The answer comes in the form of psalm 32, another Ashrei!

א לְדָוִד, מַשְׂכִּיל: אַשְׁרֵי נְשׂוּי-פֶּשַׁע; כְּסוּי חֲטָאָה.
ב אַשְׁרֵי אָדָם--לֹא יַחְשֹׁב ה' לוֹ עָו‍ֹן; וְאֵין בְּרוּחוֹ רְמִיָּה.
ג כִּי-הֶחֱרַשְׁתִּי, בָּלוּ עֲצָמָי-- בְּשַׁאֲגָתִי, כָּל-הַיּוֹם.
ד כִּי, יוֹמָם וָלַיְלָה-- תִּכְבַּד עָלַי, יָדֶךָ:
נֶהְפַּךְ לְשַׁדִּי-- בְּחַרְבֹנֵי קַיִץ סֶלָה.
ה חַטָּאתִי אוֹדִיעֲךָ, וַעֲו‍ֹנִי לֹא-כִסִּיתִי--
אָמַרְתִּי, אוֹדֶה עֲלֵי פְשָׁעַי לַה';
וְאַתָּה נָשָׂאתָ עֲו‍ֹן חַטָּאתִי סֶלָה.
ו עַל-זֹאת, יִתְפַּלֵּל כָּל-חָסִיד אֵלֶיךָ-- לְעֵת מְצֹא:רַק, לְשֵׁטֶף מַיִם רַבִּים-- אֵלָיו, לֹא יַגִּיעוּ.
ז אַתָּה, סֵתֶר לִי-- מִצַּר תִּצְּרֵנִי:
רָנֵּי פַלֵּט; תְּסוֹבְבֵנִי סֶלָה.
ח אַשְׂכִּילְךָ, וְאוֹרְךָ--בְּדֶרֶךְ-זוּ תֵלֵךְ; אִיעֲצָה עָלֶיךָ עֵינִי.
ט אַל-תִּהְיוּ, כְּסוּס כְּפֶרֶד-- אֵין הָבִין:
בְּמֶתֶג-וָרֶסֶן עֶדְיוֹ לִבְלוֹם; בַּל, קְרֹב אֵלֶיךָ.
י רַבִּים מַכְאוֹבִים, לָרָשָׁע: וְהַבּוֹטֵחַ בַּה'--חֶסֶד, יְסוֹבְבֶנּוּ.
יא שִׂמְחוּ בַה' וְגִילוּ, צַדִּיקִים; וְהַרְנִינוּ, כָּל-יִשְׁרֵי-לֵב.

1 [A Psalm] of David. Maschil. Fortunate is he whose rebelliousness is carried, whose sin is covered.
2 Fortunate is the man unto whom God no longer considers his iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no deception.

3 When I kept silence, my bones wore away through my groaning all the day long.
4 For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; my sap was turned as in the droughts of summer. Selah
5 I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I have not hid; I said: 'I will make confession concerning my transgressions to God-- and You carried the iniquity of my sin
6 For this let every one that is godly pray to You in a time when You may be found; surely, when the great waters overflow, they will not reach him.

7 You are my hiding-place; from an adversary
with songs of deliverance You will compass me about. Selah
8 'I will teach you, instruct you in the way which you shall go; I will give counsel, My eye is on you.'

9 Be not as the horse, or as the mule, which have no understanding; whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle, that they come not close to You.
10 Many are the sorrows of the wicked; but he that trusts in God, mercy encircles him.
11 Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, you righteous; and shout for joy, all you that are upright in heart.

Structure of Psalm 32
1-2 אשרי intro praising the one who has gone through the process of teshuva catharsis
3-6 An explanation of the dangers of defiance and the rewards of confession
7-8 Recreating a relationship with God after the sin, punishment, and resolution
9-11 Gleaning a moral lesson to evil and righteous as a result of the experience.

In sin one is overcome by desire; one does not contemplate actions, one acts! But immediately afterwards, after the adrenaline fades away, when feelings of guilt seep into one's soul--at that moment and the moments after that until the next opportunity to sin, the individual must make a choice: cover up? or confront your sin and be ready to deal with the consequences. This is the discussion in psalm 32.

David uses the word כסוי (cover) in verse 1 referring to God's atonement, and again in verse 5 referring to man's desire to deny, cover up, and evade responsibility. David's premise is that only through an honest confession and a readiness to expose yourself to family, friends and country will you merit a true 'cover' from God and will God lift the burden of your sins off of you paving the way to self-redemption.

Verses 3 and 4 could have been written by Dostoevsky's Raskolnikov: hiding your indiscretion and maintaining silence ultimately wears your bones, atrophies your conscience. Once again turning the phrase God's 'lightening your burden' in verse 1, a person who keeps it stuck inside ultimately feels God heavy hand upon him, crushing his spirit.

In the first 6 verses, his sinning state of 3,4 are enveloped by the healthier experience of divulging, confessing and working towards reconciliation (1,2,5,6).

But what truly sets David apart from the rest of us is his desire to turn his personal misfortune into a learning experience for all those around him. Both in this psalm and in psalm 51 David expresses his willingness to teach of his folly and help others avoid the pitfalls of sin.

One may teach only after there is acceptance, confession, steps taken towards reconciliation and a willingness to put yourself out there in humiliation in order that you may ultimately earn respect in your eyes, God's, and those around you.

The end of the psalm speaks of joy, happiness, deliverance. It reminds the average reader that as great as David's sin was, there is still a path towards redemption. Only this path must be transparent, David must reject his human inclination to cover up to achieve divine atonement and then God will cover his sins and lift the burden of guilt off his shoulders.